Current mood:

moody

Why am I here?
Why am I here at ONU? I am having a crisis of self. I don’t even know if I want to stay in accounting anymore. I have just lost all motivation and confidence in myself. I have come to realize that I am not an A student. I am a C student, and it scares me. With my grades I feel like I am letting myself and my family down. They support me, even though I am not doing as well as I could. I wish they would push me more. I keep thinking, is accounting right for me. I love working on the computer. It make me happier to be fiddling on my computer (and with the TESCS) than ,at least, managerial accounting. I can see what Karen was saying about her wanting the Business college to have two tracks for accounting, managerial and financial. I loved financial. The income statements, the numbers, the reporting. I don’t like managerial at all. I don’t care about. I am wondering whether or not I should go into computer science, but I would be so behind the others that I would probably have to stay here another year, and my parents can’t pay for that. I am thinking of taking online courses through JCC in that, though. I will have to broach the subject with my parents during Easter vacation.
It doesn’t help that my two best friends and confidants aren't here. I miss them terribly. I knew I would miss them, but I didn't think it would be this much. I miss Anjana a lot, but I will see her sometime soon when her present comes in and she comes and gets it. CU is a different story. I though I could handle having a room to myself, but I can’t. It is lonely, there’s no one to talk to if I’m not out of the room. Both of them it feels like a piece of me is missing, but with CU it feels like more of a piece is gone. I just wish things were the way they were last year, when we were inseparable and things weren't so complicated. I don’t like change. Why can’t things be the way they were? STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!